Naruto Web

niggzor · Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 3:01 pm Post subject: Naruto Fact

Sorry if you don't like, I just wanted to put all my Naruto facts in one spot.

Naruto CAN break down doors in Resident Evil games.
Naruto has captured wild MissingNo, and now he wins every pokemon battle. They sneak up on opposing Pokemon, and deliver a devastating rasengan.
Team Rocket tried to recruit Naruto. They did not have enough ramen to entice him. They were rasenganed.
Naruto is so against fillers he doesn't even like them in his lunch meat.
Every time Naruto gets pwned in the series it is in fact a yaoi-loving fangirl paid to get pwned for him. If he had to fight the series would only be two episodes long. In episode one he'd rasengan every foe, and in episode two Tsunade would declare him Hokage and sexx0rz him up, and he would then smile and rasengan her in the face.
The Orochimaru curse seal causes black marks to spread up and down the victim's body, giving them power and takng away their individuality. The Naruto Curse Seal causes lightening of the hair, growth of the penis, and an overwhelming urge to scream "Dattebayo!"
Naruto knows why LotU was banned.
Naruto bashed Yaoi on a Yaoi Fangirls Forum. No one flamed him because to flame Naruto is to die.
Naruto understands the movie Memento.
Fountains of Wayne were to be called Fountains of Naruto but he rasenganed the person who suggested they were cool enough to be called that.
If Naruto became the lead singer of Flogging Molly they would be called Rasenganing Sasuke.
Remember the Village Hidden in Electricity? Of course not. It was destroyed in a flood the last time Naruto masturbated.
Naruto is Konoha's Department of Homeland Security.
The US government tried to use Naruto as a means of keeping illegal immigrants out, but after the rasengan victims started piling up he was returned home.
Naruto ignores condoms and instead uses drum liners as protection.
Every time the anime companies make a filler episode, Naruto rasengans a kitten.
Naruto once went out to dinner at a fancy restaurant. Angelina Jolie saw and screeched, "Holy crap, it's Naruto!" She then stripped and jumped on her table, screaming, "Take me now!" Naruto set down his plate and accepted her request. His sperm, which consist of millions of tiny ninjas from the Village Hidden in the Testicle, swam up to the ovary, and saw that none of the eggs were worthy. The sperm then swam back into the testicle, Naruto finished and then rasenganed her in the face for wasting his time.
Jesus gained the ability to walk on water when Naruto blessed him.
Guns were invented as a way of keeping Naruto away from places. Not to be outdone, Naruto invented the Squid Load (backfire caused by clogged barrel).
Naruto did not invent the orgasm, but he was first to perfect it.
The Great Rep War of 2005 was put to a close with one Naruto Rasengan.
Naruto has bitch slapped more idiots than every pissed off black woman combined.
Speaking of which, Naruto is TRULY CAPABLE of bitch slapping the black off your ass. Orochimaru used to be blacker than Samuel L. Jackson.
Naruto rasengan'ed the creator of Tylenol because some moron took it to get "Extra Strength" and challenged him to a fight.
When Naruto's team in Final Fantasy VII lost to Reverse Sephiroth for the eighth time, Naruto stepped into his T.V., rasengan'ed Sephiroth, and used Cloud as a condom to pleasure Tifa.
Tsunade is not hiding her age. Naruto fucked the old out of her.
Contrary to what Dolby Laboratories tells you, Naruto's rasengan is the most effective noise reduction technique in existence. Put him in a room full of P.M.S.ing women when he's in a bad mood and you'll find out why.
Seventeen other nations graduate more scientists and other intellectuals than the United States does. Every wonder why? It's because the U.S. was founded by pieces of redneck trash who Naruto would actually be wasting his chakra rasengan'ing.
If George Bush ever declared Naruto part of the Axis of Evil, the entire North American continent would vanish in a mysterious rasengan-related accident.
Naruto's rasengan produces so much energy, if tapped, it would actually be powerful enough to power Anna Nicole Smith's vibrator.
Sasuke, after returning to Konoha from Orochimaru's clutches, wanted to get back on good terms with Naruto. Naruto said, "Suck me off, idiot!" Eager to be friends once more with his former teammate, he did so. After finishing, Sasuke wiped his chin and said, "how was that?" Naruto rasengan'ed him. No one talks with their mouth full around Naruto.
Once Naruto delivered a beating so bad, he beat the gay out of a queer. The result is Jiraiya.
Naruto once fucked a tree and it turned into a beautiful woman.
Sonic the Hedgehog is a small porcupine Naruto ate whole just for the fuck of it. When he shit it out, it was five feet tall and had super speed.
im_not_a_sasuke_fangirl was a Sasuke Fangirl before she met Naruto.
The reason behind Edward Munch's The Scream? Naruto showing him his pecker.
vanh was "mini-cooperh" before training under Naruto.
"Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House was originally going to describe the result of a girl having sex with Sasuke after having had sex with Naruto.
Fujiwara no Sai of Hikaru no Go once lost a game of Go to Naruto. He was so upset he killed himself. Since then he has struggled to overcome his rival in Go. This is the true story of the manga.
If Naruto was the Spirit Detective, there wouldn't be any more evil spirits left in human world.
Naruto can fuse atoms of the same charge together.
Every time you don't "Believe it!," Naruto takes a shit in the forest.
Naruto exemplifies the quantum theory of superposition which in more terms says objects can be in more than one place at the same time. Naruto can be in your girlfriend and your sister at the same time.
Naruto won the shaman fight using his dick.
Despite what LotU might have told you, Naruto's rasengan is the most powerful moderator on any message board.
When Naruto writes fanfiction no one flames him.
Someone once told Naruto to go to www.youfail.org. Naruto told them to go to www.suckmyfatblondecockbeforeIrasenganyou.com.
Fondling Naruto's balls has been known to cure Multiple Sclerosis.
Naruto wins every text-based rpg game by typing in the command line, "Naruto, rasengan everyone and pick up the goddam treasure."
Shao Khan's forces won that tenth straight Mortal Kombat victory. Once they passed through the portal they were met with a Naruto rasengan. They haven't been back since.

niggzor · Posted: Sun Jun 29, 2008 3:02 pm Post subject:

Naruto, drunk, once was getting a blowjob in a restaurant and accidentally came in the soup. This is now known throughout the world as the most delicious soup ever created. One spoonful and you become as strong as Goku and as smart as the Leader from The Hulk. It sells for two thousand dollars a half ounce.
One drop of Naruto's blood could purify all the oceans at once. Too bad he can't be cut.
When Ferris Bueller's Day Off rolls around, he calls in sick. When Naruto Uzumaki's Day Off rolls around, he walks in, says, "I'm gonna be gone today, muthafuckas!" and no one questions him, and the other people do his work for him.
Running out of ramen is the Sum of All Fears of Naruto Uzumaki.
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Naruto threw her down, fucked her, tasted her curds and whey, and when he didn't like the taste, rasengan'ed her in the face for not eating good tasting food he could steal.
Naruto is a rasengan in human form. He is an orgasm in Godly form. And finally he is a powerhouse in spiritual form.
When Luffy stretches his arms, people get hurt. When Naruto stretches his dick (several times rapidly), continents are swallowed by The White Sea.
Five minutes out of every day, Sasuke is required to stand in the middle of the village square and drop his pants for everyone to laugh at his small dick. Naruto then drops his pants and everyone bows down to him.
Naruto delivers more thrust with a single sexual experience than the entire history of NASA's space launches.
Contrary to what Tim Allen says, Tool Time actually occurs whenever Hinata bends over.
Naruto invented women's mouths to have a place to store his extra semen.
Naruto pours hot crude oil onto his dick to heighten the pleasure of masturbation.
Naruto considers Superman to be a "promising genin."
Naruto can suck his own cock and get semen in Sakura's mouth.
Naruto eats three meals...before rasenganing an opponent and using his blood to season the fourth.
It is not Yondaime, but Orochimaru who is the fourth. The fourth person to get the holy hell beat out of him this hour by Naruto.
Deery was known as Fawny before training under Naruto.
Naruto rasengan'ed Jessica Simpson for not being related to Homer.
Boy Meets World is about young Corey Matthews and his development. Boy Meets Rasengan is about Uchiha Sasuke.
Naruto has been to the island. When he got there, he rasengan'ed Ewan MacGregor's sorry ass.
Naruto delivers more force with one yank of his dick than Yoda has in his nine hundred year long life.
The Rhythm of Naruto's Heart is beating out morse code, and if you put a stethoscope to his chest, you'd hear, "G-E-T-T-H-E-F-U-C-K-A-W-A-Y-B-E-F-O-R-E-Y-O-U-G-E-T-R-A-S-E-N-G-A-N-E-D" right before you get rasengan'ed.
Naruto does not need his own personal Jesus. He is God's idol.
The Gospel of Naruto needs only one commandment: "Thou shalt not fucketh with the Naruto, lest ye be rasengan'ed."
Naruto can offend Howard Stern.
Feminists support Naruto, because he affords them the rights no one else has. The right to suck his dick and do chores for him. These are more rights than Sasuke has.
Naruto can piss off President Bush and not get his phone tapped.
Naruto's rasengan is a permanent member of the U.N. Security Council.
The movie Screwed was to be a documentary about Sasuke's life.
Naruto can pecker slap the sun, bitch slap the moon, and end Tsunade's career...all with the same body part.
Naruto won an arm wrestling tournament with a broken arm.
Naruto won the battle of the bands by singing through his penis.
Naruto was not warned by God when the Earth was flooded. He survived by inventing swimming.
Naruto does not have the right to bear arms. He has the right to Sasuke arms. Legs too.
The Police did not break up. Stewart Copeland and Andy Summers were not as cool as Sting, so Naruto killed them.
Pink Floyd were comfortably numb...before Naruto rasengan'ed them.
Naruto once fought Sasuke, and before the fight, Sasuke bitched that the fight wasn't fair. Naruto then tore off his own right arm, used it to beat himself into a semiconscious coma. Then when Sasuke charged him, using his other arm he rasenganed the emo out of the prettyboy, and used several of Sasuke's hairs to sew his arm back on.
Naruto once rasengan'ed Blink 182 so hard they actually wrote a good song.
Naruto fucked a woman so hard she died mid coitus. He then used his healing touch to bring her back to life. After asking, "how was it?" she replied, "I can't comprehend it!" He then rasengan'ed her. No one is allowed to not comprehend Naruto.
Samara from The Ring fears watching episodes of Naruto.
Naruto avoids the kleenex, and instead uses an airplane tarp to masturbate into.
Naruto's dick is so big if it was a cargo plane it would actually be big enough to store LeBron James's ego.
Naruto is so badass can carry a pizza into a weight watchers convention full of P.M.S.ing women and still have it all intact when he leaves.
Naruto has saved more homeless, orphans, and battered women than every charity combined. But he ever-so-often still has to destroy a bus full of schoolchildren to remind everyone that he is still a badass motherfucker.
Naruto went back in time and fucked his mother just so he could have a sibling so he could say, "Foolish little brother, you lack rasengan."
Miroku once told Naruto that his wind tunnel was more effective than Rasengan. A few years later his wife Sango gave birth to a blonde-haired boy who had an abnormally large penis and frequently shouted "Dattebayo!"
Each new incarnation of Naraku has a more powerful looking body. This is why his true form looks a lot like Naruto.
Naruto can be pulled over by the L.A. police and still be alive twenty seconds later.
Naruto doesn't read porn. He says his name in public and women tear their clothes off.